- apologetic parent on a flight: hi im sorry to bother you, I just wanted to let you know ahead of time we do have a 2 yr old here and
- me: im a fuckin walking paradox. No im not. Threesomes with a fuckin triceratops
- apologetic parent on a flight: (speechless, impressed)
Im gonna take 1000 benadryl and fuck my shadow self
*chillin wit my smart hoe*
me: bae whats the temperature of the sun?
her: 10 million degrees
me: ur so sexy when u know things
Did you know: incandescent light bulb filaments run at roughly half the temperature of the sun.